INTENTION VS TONE- CREATING IDENTITY CRISIS

Career GuidanceNeeraj says, “He has all taken it from you.”

Smita says, “Well if you are talking about the tone, then you should teach him how to read intentions too.”

Neeraj replies, “He is too small to understand intentions.”

Smita responds, “Then how do you hold me responsible for this?”

Neeraj: “You need to understand that he is learning from us and you need to change your way.”

Smita: “Have I ever expected you to change anything of yours which I feel is not appropriate, which is part of your identity?”

Neeraj: “He needs to be understood, he is growing up and he is picking up wrong things easily. That’s the reason I am saying this.”

Smita: “Okay I understand we need to understand him, I also understand he is growing up but how do you say that he is picking wrong things like my tone and that I am wrong. You are grown up. You also understand intentions. You also know that it is purely my voice and I don’t need to explain it, at least not to you then why do you call for an explanation from me on this and blame me for the way your son responds. Is it not your responsibility to explain to him instead of me? Would it not be a better option to make him accept and understand that it’s the intention of people which matters and tone is just secondary? If he does not understand and accept it at this age he will also have the same belief that people can manage their tone and those who do that, are the right ones and not the others, who are transparent and honest enough to speak the way they are without any manipulation.”

Day in and day out we see such arguments within couples and the reason is really not discussed for the sake of avoiding acceptance and confrontations within family.

With an innate thought process which takes place after which such discussion happens there is one question which crops up- Should a person always do sweet talk no matter what he feels or what is his identity?
We actually want the world to pose and be masked. We appreciate what is sweet. In the competition to be better in speech we completely ignore the basics of intentions and our wrong belief systems that are so deep that we fail to accept them.

Every time in the process of communication, the heart of a person, who feels every talk should be sweet, actually starts expecting a mask on people and encourages sweetness for different reasons.
  • Is this not our failure in accepting people as they are and accepting all genuine expressions?
  • Is it not disrespecting the transparency?
  • Aren’t we going towards more posing, drama, masking and superficial expressions?
  • How far can we justify that a person should change his or her identity for anyone else though the person happens to be true at the intention and pure at the emotion at the bottom of the heart?
If a person has to be a different personality at home and different at work and then find a place to be his own self somewhere else;
  • Are we not torturing the person by not allowing him to be what he is?
  • Are we not pushing him to learn to be what he is not and that he should constantly pose, irrespective of what he feels?
Such instances always teach us one thing that it’s all about understanding the intentions right and nothing else. But if we focus on wrong things we always make wrong belief systems and some belief systems need to be refuted and non-accepted at the very appearance. Unless we start doing that we would end up having fake personalities within us and within our children too around all of us and ‘Do we really want that?’- is the question.

A simple way to handle your child and your belief system is to accept identities as they are because -

“God has done a perfect job by making us all perfect and if you are finding faults with anyone’s identity, you are actually trying to say that God didn’t do a good job.

So think before you really criticize HIS jobs, as YOU are one of his masterpieces too like others and HE always does a perfect job for sure….”

So teach it to yourself as a parent and teach it to your kids too.”

ShachiMaheshwari

Author: Shachi Maheshwari
You may reach the author at shachimg@yahoo.com
Get connected to her thought Page on fb: Make Urself Happy
Published on 6/5/2017 4:39:00 PM
Tags:
INTENTION TONE belief systems communication drama masking superficial expressions
 



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